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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29578083">wanna be somebody to someone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/showtimed/pseuds/showtimed'>showtimed</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Boys In Love, Choi Beomgyu-Centric, Heartbreak, Hurt Choi Beomgyu, Jealous Choi Beomgyu, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, One-Sided Attraction, Sad Choi Beomgyu, Soft Choi Yeonjun, Unrequited Love, Whipped Choi Soobin, Yeonbin, a lot of emotional processing, attempt at angst really, its more so in the latter half, shin ryujin is a good friend, soogyu, yeonbin endgame, your typical college au love story but from the pov of the friend with unrequited feelings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:36:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,556</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29578083</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/showtimed/pseuds/showtimed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He just has to continue working his way up to it. And one day, he’ll get the words out successfully, and it’ll be wonderful. Soobin will tell him that he likes him back, and they’ll go out on a 2 am McDonald's run as they usually do— but this time, it’ll be different. </p><p>There’ll be something more. </p><p>(Soobin and Yeonjun get together. Beomgyu processes his emotions.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Beomgyu/Choi Soobin, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>62</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. intro: heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>today i bring to you... another fic. tomorrow? who knows. </p><p>i've had this idea sitting in my drafts for a while (among many, many, many other things) and got around to writing it. i have the rest of it planned out, but i still have to write it, which i'm excited about! tho i have two exams coming up this week so... we'll see. just really excited to post this so here it is! enjoy~</p><p>(title is a lyric from 'someone to you' by banners!)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Choi Beomgyu never took himself for a coward. </p><p>He likes to consider himself the opposite— you want him to kill that spider on the ceiling? Got it. You want him to go shout in front of a large crowd for a dare? Bet. Bungee jumping off a high place? Hell, he’ll even look forward to it. </p><p>However, lately, he’s found himself questioning his courage— why can’t he just go for something, like he does everything else? All it is is taking a plunge; Where’s the issue with that? What’s different now? </p><p>His brain echoes this same notion every time he feels the words bubbling up his throat: “Hey, Soobin hyung. I like you. Just wanted you to know.” And yet, the words never make it past his lips. Or at least the latter part doesn’t. It always starts with a hey, Soobin hyung. </p><p><em> Hey Soobin hyung… I really… need the homework answers for class today. </em> (Soobin had sighed exasperated, but pulled out his computer regardless to show the work that Beomgyu had already completed.) </p><p><em> Hey Soobin hyung, Do you wanna go… to that party Saturday night? Ryujin invited me, but I’d rather have that plus one. </em> (This was stupid— Soobin wasn’t adverse to parties, but they certainly weren’t his first choice. And the boy had told him that he had an essay due that night— and reminded him of this fact again.) </p><p><em> Hey Soobin hyung, I was just thinking that… I… am— hungry. Really hungry. </em> (Well, at least they went to eat out after that. But it was just as friends. Completely platonic. So platonic that he wants to scream into a pillow.) </p><p>This stupid crush had been lingering ever since their last semester of high school— and now, they're in the spring semester of their freshman year. Wow. At first, Beomgyu hadn’t thought much of it— he just cares a lot for his friend, right? </p><p>Wrong. </p><p>Now the ‘just a friend’ phenomenon comes to bite him back in the ass— how the universe is <em>oh so </em>cruel. Whatever. </p><p>He just has to continue working his way up to it. And one day, he’ll get the words out successfully, and it’ll be wonderful. Soobin will tell him that he likes him back, and they’ll go out on a 2 am McDonald’s run as they usually do— but this time, it’ll be different. There’ll be <em>something more</em>. </p><p>Beomgyu could only dream. </p><p> </p><p><b>—</b> ♥︎♥︎♥︎ <b>—</b></p><p> </p><p>Cold water has never tasted so good, Beomgyu thinks as he gulps down a solid half of his water bottle. He clears his sweaty bangs out of his face, once again readjusting the sweatband over his forehead, as he continues to catch his breath. </p><p>Practices for his dance crew were always draining despite the fact he absolutely adored dancing, and the burn in his muscles as he went through a routine, the satisfaction of executing the moves correctly. Captain Jung was strict and hard-hitting with his choreographies, filled with complex and fast movements that required fluidity and sharpness all in one. But Beomgyu felt excited regardless of his exhaustion— soon, he'll be able to perform the choreography in the upcoming spring showcase, an event that was apparently very much anticipated on campus. </p><p>Being the freshman he was, naturally he was excited. It would be amazing. And everyone looked so good!</p><p><em> He </em>also looked good. Really good.</p><p>Beomgyu looked over at Choi Yeonjun, a year his senior, still practicing the moves in front of the mirror, body purposely moving lazily, but eyes still sharp with focus as he marked his movements and corrected them accordingly, adding a pop here and some flow there.</p><p>Beomgyu would be lying if he said that he didn’t almost idolize Yeonjun when he had first seen the boy his first semester— he had just looked so damn cool, with his bright pink hair and sharp eyes, piercings adorning his ears, and amazing fashion sense. And he had great proportions and knew how to utilize them well to bring out the best of his dance. Of course, like any other normal human being, he was in awe.</p><p>This awe slowly, but not completely, went away once the two had actually gotten closer as time went by (Beomgyu had the courage to approach the hyung— really, where was this feeling when he needed it most?) As it turns out, for as much cool Yeonjun has in his body, he also has an equal amount of, if not more, of absolute dorkiness. If there was a chance to playfully mock the older, Beomgyu would be the first one jumping on it, much to Yeonjun’s chagrin. But regardless, their bond had become strong. </p><p>It was when Captain Jung announced the end of practice that Beomgyu snapped out of his thoughts. </p><p>“Yah, Choi Beomgyu!” Beomgyu looks up to see Yeonjun himself walking over to him, a wide grin on his face. </p><p>“I’m tired as fuck. And also starving. Convenience store right now?” </p><p>“If you promise not to drop my ramen, hyung, then maybe I’ll consider it,” Beomgyu says. Yeonjun whines at the younger boy, hitting his shoulder. </p><p>“That was <em>one </em> time!”</p><p>“It was three!”</p><p>“Ugh, fine, I won’t drop your ramen! Let’s just go, I’m <em>hungry</em>,” The older stretches out the syllable as he takes hold of Beomgyu’s arm and makes it a point to yank on it several times before Beomgyu laughs in defeat.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m coming. Let go of my arm so I can pack my stuff up.” Yeonjun beams widely at him before crossing the dance studio to gather his own belongings. Beomgyu packs his things gingerly, contemplating what extra snacks he should grab. </p><p>Walking to the convenience store is a casual and short affair. The best part about it was that it was only 5 minutes away from the studio on campus— <em>hence why it's probably called a convenience store</em>, Beomgyu thinks to himself dryly. </p><p>The doorbell rings above them as they enter the small establishment. There are tables on both sides of the door for people to eat their food. As they walk in, Beomgyu notices a still full ramen bowl sitting at one of the tables, steam wafting up into the air. </p><p>Yeonjun has already gone full speed ahead directly to the ramen section, and Beomgyu follows behind leisurely, picking up some macaroons along the way. He points out his choice of ramen to the older, who grabs it off the shelf. Yeonjun goes off to prepare their meal, while Beomgyu walks over to the counter— it’s his turn to pay. </p><p>Once he’s done, he makes his way back to the front of the store in search of a place to sit. When he emerges from an aisle with the tables in sight, he finds that there’s now someone sitting over the once forlorn ramen bowl, now with a textbook on display. </p><p>“Soobin hyung?” </p><p>The blue-haired boy startles a little bit, splashing some of the ramen broth onto his book. He briefly laments over the stain, while Beomgyu lets out a short and loud laugh before walking over to his friend. </p><p>“I don’t usually see you at the convenience store at like 8 o’clock at night. What are you doing?” </p><p>Soobin shrugs, rubbing a hand on his neck. </p><p>“I guess I just needed a new place to study— being in my room was honestly starting to kill me. Uh, what are <em>you </em>doing here?”</p><p>Beomgyu only quirks a single eyebrow, moving to sit down in front of the other boy, eyes briefly running over the book where the broth stain sat. The textbook was only on the cover page.</p><p>“You know I usually come here after my dance practices. Dancing takes a shit ton of my energy.” </p><p>“Right, right,” Soobin says, glancing away, eyes darting around the convenience store, and Beomgyu suddenly feels self-conscious at the older boy’s strange actions. Soobin turns back to him, twirling his chopsticks in his food. </p><p>“Are you by yourself?”</p><p>Beomgyu tilts his head. “No, I came with someone. Now that I think about it, they’re taking way too long with the—”</p><p>“Food’s ready!” The man in question pops out of an aisle, and Soobin flinches slightly again. Yeonjun walks towards them, two bowls in hand with a proud look on his face. He comes over to the head of the table, setting both bowls down and puts his hands on his hips, and looks directly at Beomgyu. </p><p>“Ramen, hot and ready to eat! Bonus because they did not, in fact, hit the ground this time.”</p><p>“That shouldn’t be a bonus, dumbass,” Beomgyu snorts with a grin as he takes his bowl closer to him, and Yeonjun hisses something along the lines of ‘<em>Yah, you disrespectful little—</em>’ as he raises a hand at Beomgyu to pretend to hit him before he looks over and realizes that Soobin is still frozen, and staring up at him. Yeonjun stares back for a moment, before quickly composing himself. </p><p>“Sorry about that, he can be a real brat sometimes. I’m Choi Yeonjun! And you are?” The boy places his palms onto the table, leaning a little closer in Soobin’s direction, tilting his head with a small smirk. Beomgyu also glances over at Soobin, who’s still sitting a little frozen, his lips parted slightly. Beomgyu hums to himself, remembering that Soobin could be a little shy sometimes, and nudges the boy with his foot under the table to bring him back to the present. </p><p>The nudge seems to do the job, because Soobin quickly snaps out of his stupor, and jerkily sticks out his hand. </p><p>“C-Choi Soobin.” he finally responds, and Yeonjun’s smirk becomes a wide grin as he returns Soobin’s handshake and turns to Beomgyu. </p><p>“You guys know each other?” he asks, head-turning back to Soobin.</p><p>“Uh, yeah. We’ve been friends since, like, freshman year of high school.” Beomgyu says, “I sat next to him on the first day in a biology class. I fell asleep and he gave me his notes, and we just clicked from there.” </p><p>“That’s right,” Soobin agrees, blinking multiple times. Yeonjun hums as a sign of understanding. </p><p>The brief silence draws the three boys’ attention to Soobin and Yeonjun’s still joint, handshaking hands. The handshake stops. </p><p>Soobin yanks his hand back immediately, a sorry stumbling its way out of his lips with ear tips red, and Yeonjun just laughs and waving off the blue-haired boy, before sliding onto the bench next to Beomgyu, taking his own bowl that has now lost a considerable amount of warmth. Then, he begins to ask Soobin questions— his year, his major, his housing situation for the semester, where he’s from, you name it. Soobin answers each, before returning the question in kind. The two develop a steady back and forth, and Soobin is acting considerably less odd compared to before, relaxing and smiling a bit. </p><p>Beomgyu watches the entire exchange quietly, only joining the conversation occasionally when prompted, but mostly sticking to eating his ramen. He looks at his macaroons and finds that suddenly he’s lost his appetite.</p><p>Admittedly, it was a nice sight, wasn’t it? Usually introducing one of your friends to another one of your friends could be really awkward, but here was Soobin and Yeonjun getting along just fine, bouncing off each other and finding common interests. Beomgyu should be glad, right?</p><p>And yet, he couldn’t shake the miniature ball of… some feeling that lodged itself in his heart watching how easy the conversation seemed to be flowing between them. How Yeonjun took his time looking at Soobin in earnest when the other boy spoke, how Soobin would smile at Yeonjun’s joke and how the tips of his ears were still stained with red. How Yeonjun, at one point for whatever reason, sent a wink in Soobin’s direction, and the red from the tips of the other boy’s ears quickly spread to the rest of his face, which he covered quickly. And then Yeonjun would laugh loudly, calling the boy a simple, ‘<em>cute</em>.’</p><p>Beomgyu glared at the textbook next to Soobin’s now empty bowl of ramen, still open to the first page. <em> What happened to studying? </em> he mocked bitterly. </p><p>Beomgyu had to quell his relief when the clock finally struck eleven, and Soobin, the sensible boy, suggested that they should all probably be heading back. His relief is very much quelled (maybe more so crushed) when Yeonjun, after they’ve thrown out their trash and they’ve walked out of the convenience store, turns to Soobin and boldly requests the boy’s number, to which Soobin begins stuttering all over again as he recites his number to the older boy. </p><p>Yeonjun smiles, waving the phone once he’s finished putting in the numbers, and bids them both goodbye, heading off in the opposite direction towards his apartment. Soobin calls out a goodbye in response, and Beomgyu could only quietly wave, before quickly turning on his heel, to walk off. </p><p>Soobin quickly catches up with him, and he’s clutching the straps of his bookbag, puffing up either side of his cheeks, as if words are going to explode out any minute. The younger stifles a sigh, before initiating the conversation that was seemingly going to happen sooner or later. </p><p>“<em>Studying</em>?” He is all he says as he looks over at his friend, and, as he predicts, Soobin combusts. </p><p>“Yeah, okay, that was definitely a shitty excuse, but oh my god Beomgyu it <em>worked</em>? That was so lucky, holy shit?” </p><p>“So you were purposely waiting there in hopes that I’d come into the convenience store with Yeonjun hyung?”</p><p>Soobin doesn’t respond right away. <em> Guilty as charged</em>. “...Maybe. But it worked! God, I seriously made a fool out of myself at some point. Why didn’t I let go of his hand at a normal time, like a normal person?” He rubs his face with his hands, “But, Gyu, did you see that? He— he winked at me. He called me <em> cute </em>!” </p><p>“He always does that shit to everyone. Did it to me when we first met. He’s a flirt.” Beomgyu grumbles to himself. (This <em>was </em>true. Yeonjun did wink at himself, and Beomgyu, unaware of the older’s <em>very uncool side</em>, got a little flustered. Who wouldn’t?) Soobin continues, having not heard his comment. </p><p>“Oh my god, he gave me his number? That’s fucking insane!” Soobin was skipping at this point. The man was fucking <em> skipping</em>. Skipping! Seriously?</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Beomgyu rolled his eyes and immediately regretted it, because that eye roll was way too aggressive, and now his eyes hurt. Great. Now his eye sockets were checking his attitude before it could get out of hand. Not that it mattered, because Soobin stops skipping, now walking normally before shooting Beomgyu with a concerned expression. </p><p>“Are you okay, Gyu? Is something wrong?” The older boy says worriedly, and Beomgyu quickly shakes his head and dismisses the question with the wave of his hand. </p><p>“No, no, sorry. I’m just really tired is all, but I’m… really glad for you.” Beomgyu says, looking away. Soobin only tilts his head at his friend.</p><p>Then, the younger tries to put on his best teasing tone. “So… I didn’t know you had a thing for boys with bright pink hair named Choi Yeonjun.” It works because Soobin’s face immediately becomes red as he slaps the other boy’s shoulder and shouts. Beomgyu lets out a laugh, only from shock of force. </p><p>Beomgyu allows Soobin to talk his ear off about Yeonjun until they reach their apartment complex, where they split up into different buildings. Soobin bids him goodbye, telling him that he hopes he rests well, and Beomgyu only nods and waves back, heading into his building. </p><p>It’s only when he’s completely by himself that he acknowledges the feeling that’s been eating at him for the past three hours. </p><p>Jealousy. </p><p>Choi Beomgyu is jealous. </p><p>Oh, <em> fucking joy</em>. </p><p> </p><p><b>— ♡</b>♥︎♥︎ <b>—</b></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. interlude: fall</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>if you're returning, you may notice i reworked the tags a little to better represent the fic! but yeah, enjoy this chapter~ only one more to go!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Yah, Choi Beomgyu. Can you tell me what an action potential is?”</p>
<p>The raven-haired boy finds his stream of thoughts interrupted, as he goes from staring at nothing in particular to staring at the Ryujin sitting next to him, an already unimpressed look on her face. Besides him, Heesung snorts.</p>
<p>“He wasn’t even paying attention this whole time.” Heesung stretches in his chair, and Beomgyu sits up, indignant at the other’s jabs. </p>
<p>“Yes, I was,” Beomgyu snaps, “I very well know what’s going on. Right damn now.” Beomgyu stabs his pen onto his notebook for emphasis, and Heesung only snorts again. Ryujin rolls her eyes before speaking again. </p>
<p>“Okay then, Mr.<em> I-Was-Paying-Attention</em>. What’s an action potential?”</p>
<p>Beomgyu falters. “Uh. Action that has a lot of potential. Like the plot… to a movie.” </p>
<p>Ryujin glares him down. Heesung laughs loudly, resulting in several shushes from nearby tables. The boy pays no mind, merely stifling his giggles into the palm of his hand. However, he sobers up quickly once Ryujin redirects her glare to him before she looks back at Beomgyu with a sigh. </p>
<p>“C’mon, Beomgyu, you were the one that said you wanted to do study sessions. The test is this week.” </p>
<p>“I know, I know,” Beomgyu whines, throwing himself forward to plant his head on his notebook with a thunk. He feels a hand in his hair from his right, so it’s probably Heesung. He can be nice when he’s not being… well, an asshole. (Though he’s only exclusively an asshole to Beomgyu, and maybe Beomgyu brought that upon himself. Oops.)</p>
<p>“Hey man, don’t sweat it. Maybe it's time for a break anyway. I’m gonna go to Starbucks, do you want anything?” </p>
<p>Beomgyu muffles his order into the textbook, refusing to lift his head just yet. Heesung pats his head twice before also collecting Ryujin’s order. Beomgyu hears the scraping of a chair on the floor, and quiet footsteps leaving the table. </p>
<p>It’s still for a moment, before he feels the butt of a pen poke at his head several times, getting slightly more forceful than the previous ones. Beomgyu grabs the pen with his hand first before looking up, where Ryujin stares back down at him, the glare from earlier gone, but the frown still in place. </p>
<p>Oh, no. </p>
<p>“Alright,” she puts her arms on the desk and settles her head on top of them so that she could still look at her friend. “What’s going on with you? You’ve been low energy, staring off into space the entire time. You aren’t even responding to Heesung’s jeers with the same level of ridiculousness. You good?”</p>
<p>Beomgyu could only groan again in response, burying his head in his arm, before shifting so only his eyes were above his arm. Instead of actually answering, he asks another question. </p>
<p>“How’d you get together with Yeji?”</p>
<p>“Haven’t I told you this story?”</p>
<p>“...Yeah. And I’m asking you to tell it again.”</p>
<p>Ryujin hums in thought. If she notices Beomgyu deflecting the question, she doesn’t mention it. “Well, I mean, you know. I liked her, probably for like 6 months or so. It was a lot of back and forth between us, that’s a lot more obvious in retrospect. I didn’t know when to tell her so I just… told her, one day. Pretty sure it was over her polisci homework, so that’s always funny. She was so caught off guard, and I remember being so scared at that moment, but then she just. <em>Kissed</em> <em>me</em>. And the rest was history!” Ryujin recounts her getting together, and Beomgyu looks at her thoughtfully. </p>
<p>“How did you know she liked you?” </p>
<p>“Why’re you asking? Are you looking for signs in someone?” She catches him, and she sits up suddenly, slapping her hand over her mouth, before leaning back down to be eye level with the boy. “Oh— oh wait. Is it about your friend? Choi Soobin?”</p>
<p>At the mention of the name, Beomgyu feels two emotions: the lighthearted, mushy feeling he gets whenever someone mentions Soobin (he’ll take that description with him to the grave) and the increasingly familiar jealousy— because, in recent developments, where there was a Soobin, there was a Yeonjun nearby. </p>
<p>The processing of his oldest hyung made him stop for a moment. He was sitting in the library, asking Ryujin how she knew her girlfriend liked her when he was supposed to be studying for an upcoming physiology test. Honestly, what was the point? Any sign she could possibly inform him about would probably be more applicable to the two other boys, a notion that left a sour taste in his mouth. </p>
<p>The expression must have shown on his face, because Ryujin starts poking him again, badgering him for an answer. She doesn’t get one, however, because Heesung returns with their Starbucks orders— a green tea latte for himself, a cookie crumble for Ryujin and iced tea lemonade for Beomgyu. </p>
<p>“Here are your drinks! Thank you for shopping at Starbucks!” Heesung singsongs and Ryujin snorts out something about ‘shopping’ at Starbucks sounds weird, to which Heesung pays no mind, saying that it’s basically the same thing. Beomgyu sits up to take a sip of his iced tea quietly, quietly glad for Heesung’s return. He mulls for a moment before speaking up, interrupting his friends’ conversation. </p>
<p>“An action potential is when electrical potential in a membrane rises and falls in that one pattern,” he says, drawing out the pattern in the air. He crosses his arms. “<em>And </em> I didn’t look that one up.” </p>
<p>Heesung immediately looks at Ryujin for confirmation, and she nods before he looks back at Beomgyu with narrowed eyes. </p>
<p>“Okay, okay, so you do pay attention. But can you name the stages of each part of that curve?” the boy says challengingly, and Beomgyu huffs, refusing to be out-brained by the other boy. Ryujin is giving him a long look, their earlier conversation probably still at the front of her mind, but Beomgyu simply ignores her in favor of getting back to studying. </p>
<p>He’s not quite sure if he wants to talk about it anyway. </p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>—♡♥︎</b>♥︎<b>—</b></p>
<p> </p>
<p>As it turns out, ‘talking about it’ is his only option. </p>
<p>Ryujin catches him again after the trio parts ways at the library, Heesung saying something about heading his ass straight to bed, despite it only being 5 pm on a Saturday. Knowing him, maybe he’ll be catching a party later— you do need some energy to get drunk off your ass after all. </p>
<p>“Our conversation from earlier is not finished. You’re obviously bothered by something, and we’re gonna discuss,” she states, leaving no room for argument. Beomgyu would resist if he had the energy to. He finds that to be running low these days— especially his emotional supply. </p>
<p>And that’s how he finds himself inside a cafe at 5 pm on a Saturday, with Ryujin sitting across from him as they both order food. </p>
<p>“So, when I mentioned Soobin-ssi earlier, you made a weird face. Like, you were constipated or something.”</p>
<p>“I did not look <em>constipated</em>,” Beomgyu says back affronted. </p>
<p>Ryujin rolls her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. You were also asking me how I knew Yeji unnie liked me. If I put two and two together, I’d have to assume that you're looking for signs that Soobin likes you, right? Right? Isn’t that exciting?”</p>
<p>“It’d be more exciting if <em> I </em> was the person of his affections,” Beomgyu grumbles, putting his elbows onto the tabletop and burying his face into his hands. “Instead, he’s all over Yeonjun hyung.”</p>
<p>“Choi Yeonjun? Super popular upperclassman, in your dance club, right?” Ryuijn purses her lips. “Mmh. I can see why Soobin would be falling for him.”</p>
<p>Beomgyu whips his head up to look at the girl. “Dude, seriously?”</p>
<p>Ryujin makes a sheepish expression, and Beomgyu lets out a harsh sigh.</p>
<p>“It’s just that… it’s been driving me <em>insane</em>! It’s like they're together all the time! Soobin hyung started showing up to our practices, and he’s never done that before! Every time I tried to convince him too, he’d whine something about sweaty and hot rooms, or whatever the hell. And now, he’s dropping by almost every practice, just for Yeonjun!</p>
<p>“And not to mention how, whenever Soobin and I are supposed to be hanging out, cause that’s, like, <em> our thing</em>, Yeonjun hyung just… comes out of nowhere! And just like that, I become the designated third wheel. It’s so… <em> urgh</em>!” Beomgyu runs his hands through his hair roughly, before settling his gaze onto the table, suddenly feeling too embarrassed to look Ryujin in the eye.</p>
<p>“I just… I wish I could capture Soobin’s attention the way Yeonjun hyung does. Am I not enough?” Beomgyu says softly.</p>
<p>Ryujin is quiet, just as the waiter comes back with their drinks and food, setting it on the table in front of them before politely waving them off. Beomgyu stares at the sandwich that he ordered, and found that he didn’t feel very hungry. </p>
<p>The girl across from his pushes aside both their plates as soon as the waiter is out of their vicinity, and reaches over the table to grab both of Beomgyu’s wrists, which takes the boy by surprise, as he looks up at his friend. Her eyes are serious, but bright, as she takes a long enough look at him to make the boy squirm in her hold. </p>
<p>“Yah,” she says sternly, “You are good enough for anyone. In fact, you are <em>more </em>than enough. Don’t let anyone make you think otherwise. Got it?” </p>
<p>Beomgyu nods faintly, a little stunned from the sincereness of her statement. Ryujin lets go of his wrists, seemingly satisfied with his agreement, pushing their plates back in front of them. </p>
<p>“That being said, I’m sorry that’s happening. I know being a third wheel, especially to someone you like, can be an incredibly shitty feeling.”</p>
<p>Beomgyu quietly nods again, glancing down at his sandwich. The sentiment makes him feel a little less embarrassed about his whining from before. Then, he glances up back at her. </p>
<p>“Should I tell him?”</p>
<p>Ryujin blinks. “Hm?”</p>
<p>“Should I tell him? About my feelings. For him.” Beomgyu’s words are stilted as he considers the idea. “I mean, I don’t know what would come out of that really. It could go either way, maybe? I… don’t know.”</p>
<p>Because, really, what <em>would </em> Beomgyu get out of it? What is he even hoping for? That his feelings will be able to sway Soobin away from Yeonjun? He if thinks about it enough, the idea sounds almost manipulative, and Beomgyu hates it. But truthfully, he doesn’t know what to do with his feelings. Every time he looks at Soobin, he feels like he wants to explode with <em>emotions</em>. Gross. <em> Feelings</em>. </p>
<p>Ryujin hums thoughtfully. “At the very least, that’s a good way to face your feelings. The thoughts can’t clank around in your head if you let them into the open.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, but if I let them out into the open, that means my feelings will be processed by other people. By <em>him</em>. And that means he’ll judge my feelings. And… and what if— ah, I don’t know.” Beomgyu sighs again, and Ryujin frowns as she finally takes a sip of her drink. </p>
<p>“You and Soobin-ssi are close. I don’t think he’d judge you.” She says matter of factly. </p>
<p>“Yeah but…” Beomgyu lets out a muffled loud into his hands again. “Ryujin, just tell me what I should do, <em> please</em>.” He stretches out the last word as he slouches down in his side of the booth, and Ryujin gives him a sympathetic smile. </p>
<p>“I feel like this is something that’s really ultimately up to you, Gyu. I support you, whatever you choose to do!”</p>
<p>Beomgyu lets out a sigh, staring up at the ceiling for a moment. </p>
<p>“Man, you and Yeji are fucking <em> lucky</em>. I’m seriously jealous.”</p>
<p>At that, Ryujin lets out a loud laugh, and Beomgyu finds it within him to chuckle along, and finally sits up to eat his own food. </p>
<p>For now, he can at least focus on the thing that’s directly in front of him. That doesn’t stop the words from the past conversation floating around in his head. </p>
<p><em> Confessing his feelings</em>. Huh. What a thought.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>—♡♥︎</b>♥︎<b>—</b></p>
<p> </p>
<p>However, even if Beomgyu decided to actually <em>grow up </em>and just say what he means, the opportunity to do so would be non-existent anyway. </p>
<p>Because as the weeks go by, he finds that he’s seeing Soobin less and less. The last time he saw the boy for maybe more than a second was after his physiology test, that Beomgyu had ended up doing better than he thought he would, and Soobin got him boba as a reward. Had he known that that was the last time he’d be able to see his friend for more than 5 minutes, he would have cherished it more. </p>
<p>Surely enough, anytime that Beomgyu texted the older boy, Soobin would respond with something along the lines of, <em> sorry, I promised Yeonjun I’d do </em> ‘xyz’ <em> with him today</em>!</p>
<p>It seems that the two have stopped using Beomgyu as a buffer of sorts for when they talked. Not like they needed one in the first place— <em> they seemed to get along just fine</em>, Beomgyu notes sourly. </p>
<p>One of the days that Soobin declines him to hang out again, saying something about him being busy with homework, Beomgyu decides to head over to the library, having invited Heesung and Ryujin for an impromptu study session again. </p>
<p>(In reality, he just… wanted people to <em>talk </em>to. It wasn’t until Soobin’s absence became more and more apparent, that Beomgyu realized he was actually quite lonely, which makes the other boy’s dismissiveness all the more hurtful.)</p>
<p>He’s making his way away from the Starbucks register when in the distance he spots a shock of blue hair that stands above most of the students occupying the area, the boy staring down at his phone. Beomgyu, against his will, feels his body perk up suddenly, and his heart rate increases because <em> Soobin’s here, what a coincidence! Maybe they can hang out after a</em>—</p>
<p>His thoughts are cut off by bright pink hair entering the picture, the owner of said hair with a large smile on his face as he holds two drinks. Beomgyu watches as Soobin looks up from his phone, a matching grin spreading across his own face as he gives Yeonjun a side hug, briefly dropping his forehead onto the other’s shoulder, before taking his own drink. He inspects the cup, talking animatedly as Yeonjun laughs. </p>
<p>Beomgyu quickly takes hold of his hoodie, throwing the hood right over his head and turning away, not wanting to watch anymore, not wanting to risk Yeonjun and Soobin recognizing him from afar. He looks over to the order table and sees a Starbucks staff member walking up to the counter with what looks like his group order. He quickly shuffles forward to meet the lady halfway, before she could shout out his name for all (read: a certain two) to hear.</p>
<p>He takes his order immediately, lets out a quiet thank you, before turning away. Before he heads for the elevators, he looks over to where the other two had been standing before and finds that both of them are gone. </p>
<p>Whenever Soobin next throws him an excuse about doing homework or studying, Beomgyu feels inclined to believe that the statement is a lie and that it probably has something to do with a certain pink-haired sophomore. </p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>—♡♥︎</b>♥︎<b>—</b></p>
<p> </p>
<p>But maybe, <em> just maybe</em>, Beomgyu is just being a little dramatic. It’s not as if Soobin is avoiding him, and they still text a lot. But <em>god</em>, it’s never just a conversation about nothing anymore, because somehow, someway, Yeonjun’s name still worms its way into the conversation every time. But Beomgyu was far too stubborn to let his own true feelings leak into the conversation anytime Soobin brought the older boy up. </p>
<p>
  <b>soobinnie &lt;3</b>
</p>
<p>oh my god gyu so you know that webtoon i was talking about the other day? the one hyung was talking about?</p>
<p>well i got into it! its actually rlly good and i caught up so fast, now i can read it together with him </p>
<p>but it feels so hard to focus cause he’s so close to me and my brain just malfunctions and oh my god</p>
<p>ah i’m so excited i could cry </p>
<p>then cry lol</p>
<p>
  <b>soobinnie &lt;3</b>
</p>
<p>BOOO that’s not very best friend of you </p>
<p>am i really ur friend if i dont make fun of u?</p>
<p>;)</p>
<p>
  <b>soobinnie &lt;3</b>
</p>
<p>;(( </p>
<p>(Beomgyu found that his face more closely represented that of Soobin’s last sent emoticon.) </p>
<p>
  <b>soobinnie &lt;3</b>
</p>
<p>I GOT YEONJUN HYUNG TO PLAY SPLATOON WITH ME I’M SO HAPPY </p>
<p>he’s so bad at it and he keeps dying he’s so cute </p>
<p>so you’re into necrophilia . . .</p>
<p>
  <b>soobinnie &lt;3 </b>
</p>
<p>why would your mind go there</p>
<p>i hate you</p>
<p>u love me, u just don’t realize it yet</p>
<p>
  <b>soobinnie &lt;3</b>
</p>
<p>hyung said he loves me more</p>
<p>ahahahah love haha lol lmao </p>
<p>love</p>
<p>mm</p>
<p>omfg go have feelings somewhere else</p>
<p>also i will literally fight yeonjun.</p>
<p>
  <b>soobinnie &lt;3</b>
</p>
<p>he said to meet him before practice tomorrow in the dark alleyway</p>
<p>and that its yeonjun hyung ‘you brat’</p>
<p>but i’m cheering u guys on :)</p>
<p>and by ‘u guys’ u mean yeonjun (._. ) </p>
<p>
  <b>soobinnie &lt;3</b>
</p>
<p>:P</p>
<p>(Maybe instead of confessing his feelings, he would just physically fight Yeonjun, and then everything would be normal and fine. </p>
<p>Ugh.) </p>
<p>Alas, for as much as Yeonjun was essentially sweeping Soobin more and more off his feet with the passing weeks, Beomgyu couldn’t find it within himself to truly have anything against the older boy. He was great, and as much as Beomgyu liked to make fun of him, he still did genuinely look up to the boy. He was talented and incredibly sweet and thoughtful. He was a good friend, someone nice to hang around, and undoubtedly had charisma that went unmatched. </p>
<p>Of course, Soobin would fall for someone like Yeonjun, and not someone like Beomgyu. </p>
<p>And of course, Soobin being such a kind and soft person, who gives amazing hugs, has a laugh as bright as the sun, and the owner of the prettiest smile Beomgyu’s ever seen— of course, Yeonjun would fall for that too, just as Beomgyu has. </p>
<p>If that wasn’t obvious before, it’s obvious now, with the way that Soobin’s name seemingly worms his way into Beomgyu and Yeonjun’s conversations, during the small breaks that they have during dance practice. </p>
<p>Whereas Soobin was high energy with his head in the clouds when he talked about his crush, Yeonjun was much calmer in comparison, softly staring down at any object closest to him as he talked about the other boy, about the type of Starbucks drinks that he likes, about the dimples that appear every time the boy smiles, and about the little habits that Soobin has. Beomgyu has to put a water bottle to his lips to restrain himself from cutting the older off as he talked about that before he could say something stupid and petty, something like, I<em> know his habits already, I’ve known him since high school, way longer than you</em>, or, <em> you actually missed a couple, Soobin has more than just those</em>. </p>
<p>Beomgyu pushes his feelings down as he listens to Yeonjun talk about his own. </p>
<p>It’s only easier to do when their brief break ends as Captain Jung claps the studio to attention, announcing that they’re going to do a run-through of the choreography from the top, and then two other songs after that. </p>
<p>Practices have been getting longer, as of late, as the spring showcase looms closer, just a week away at this point. This leaves Beomgyu more tired than usual, still having to deal with schoolwork on top of that, but he finds that he welcomes it. The more time he spends occupied, the less time he can spend staring off into space; because the more time he spends staring off into space, the more time his brain can spend reminding him of his unreturned feelings and the loss of proximity to his closest friend.</p>
<p>It’s one night, after a particularly long practice, that Soobin comes by (like he normally does <em>now</em>), and the boy surprises the both of them with ice cream, to which Yeonjun and Beomgyu scarf down almost immediately, sitting down on a bench outside that’s not too far off from the studio. </p>
<p>Yeonjun mentions again that he’s absolutely exhausted, and waves them off goodnight, but not before Soobin gives him a quick hug, despite the fact that the older boy is all sweaty from the constant activity. Beomgyu glances away, feeling awkward, as if he was witnessing something intimate and private. </p>
<p>When Yeonjun finally leaves their vicinity, Soobin turns to Beomgyu quietly, regarding the other boy with a contemplating look. </p>
<p>“Hey Gyu, do you want to hang out at my place for a bit? I’ll make you food.”</p>
<p>And Beomgyu, being the weak soul he is, with his never-ending craving for Soobin’s attention, agrees readily. </p>
<p>The walk back to the apartments is quiet, as well as when they enter Soobin’s place. Beomgyu assumes that Soobin assumes it's just because Beomgyu’s tired from practice (which isn’t an untrue statement), and Beomgyu is glad that Soobin was always decent at reading someone’s mood. Even if they weren’t talking, it felt so nice just to be in the other boy’s presence— if not for a moment, Beomgyu forgets about everything else in his day to day life, as he sits on Soobin’s couch with his eyes closed, as he listens to the older boy pace around in the kitchen, probably making some more instant ramen for the both of them to eat. </p>
<p>When they do finally start some conversation, it's calm and slow, but comforting all the same. Beomgyu does notice however that Soobin seems to be chewing his lip in thought in between bites of his food, and Beomgyu already knows what (who) Soobin is probably thinking about. Against his better judgment of forgetting about everything else, he finds himself asking: </p>
<p>“Thinking about Yeonjun hyung again?”</p>
<p>Soobin jumps a little at the question, looking over at Beomgyu slightly bewildered. Beomgyu can’t help the small smirk that forms on his face.</p>
<p>“Y’know, people should really give me more credit. I can read the room too.”</p>
<p>Soobin laughs a little bit in response. “I never doubted that you could.” Soobin’s smile disappears a little bit, and he’s back to chewing his lip again— it’s becoming increasingly red (not that Beomgyu was staring at Soobin’s lips, anyway.)</p>
<p>“Well… I’ve just been thinking. That I want to tell him.”</p>
<p>Beomgyu pauses mid-bite, quickly glancing at the other boy before shoving food in his mouth, hoping Soobin would continue. He does. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I want to tell him. I mean, it might probably already be <em>really </em>obvious anyway, but I guess it never hurts to have it out there in words. And I was thinking of telling him after the showcase— wouldn’t that be so cool? Like, as I’m giving him his flowers and balloons and congratulating him on his amazing performance, I, like, also give him a rose or something and then I say something <em>really romantic</em>, or something like that— ah, I just really hope I won’t stutter, that would be—” Soobin continues his rambling about his little love confession daydream. </p>
<p>Meanwhile, Beomgyu has put down his chopsticks, an upset feeling in his chest. He feels like his heart is dropping from a high place, not even having the energy to beat at 100 beats per minute— instead, just a feeling of defeat.</p>
<p>Beomgyu has been perfectly aware of his feelings for Soobin, and Soobin’s feelings for Yeonjun, and Yeonjun’s feelings for Soobin— it’s what he’s spent the past few weeks bemoaning about to Ryujin or thinking himself into oblivion about when he should be sleeping. However, having Soobin directly voice to him how he plans to verbalize his feelings for Yeonjun simply knocks the wind of him, and Beomgyu wonders if the other boy would be thinking in this same fashion if he liked Beomgyu. </p>
<p>If Beomgyu had maybe said something or at least dropped a hint that he liked Soobin, would Soobin be daydreaming of how he could tell Beomgyu about how he felt, the same way that Beomgyu does for him? </p>
<p>Guess he’ll never know. </p>
<p>Beomgyu realizes that he’s zoned out completely when he feels a hand on his shoulder shaking him slightly, and Beomgyu refocuses, looking up at Soobin, who has his eyebrows furrowed in concern. </p>
<p>“Hey, Gyu, are you okay?”</p>
<p>Beomgyu blinks lazily at the boy, barely processing the question. “Yeah. I’m fine.”</p>
<p>“You don’t sound very fine to me.” Soobin frowns, and Beomgyu feels a lick of irritation. He’s not sure why, but something about everything just turns his sadness into a much stronger, vicious feeling.</p>
<p>“I said I’m <em> fine</em>.” Beomgyu snaps, brushing Soobin’s hand off his shoulder, standing up abruptly and snatching his half-filled ramen bowl and stalking over to the kitchen, leaving a bewildered Soobin on the couch, who soon stands up, following him. </p>
<p>“Alright, seriously, what the hell is your problem? I was just trying to ask you if you’re okay cause you keep spacing out, and now you’re snapping at me out of nowhere?”</p>
<p>“Maybe I wouldn’t feel like spacing out so fucking much if you would just talk about something more <em> interesting </em> instead of talking about the <em> same damn thing </em> all the fucking time!”</p>
<p>At this, Soobin’s expression darkens imperceptibly, and Beomgyu feels a tiny inkling of regret because he didn’t mean for it to come out that way. He shoves it down. </p>
<p>“And what is that supposed to mean? Are my feelings not <em> entertaining </em> enough for you?”</p>
<p>“That’s not what I meant. That’s not what I’m saying.” </p>
<p>“Then what the fuck are you <em> trying </em> to say?”</p>
<p>“What I’m <em>trying </em>to say is that I’m absolutely sick of you talking about Yeonjun all the goddamn time! He’s all you ever talk about, and god it's so...<em>irritating</em>!”</p>
<p>“Well, I’m sorry that I just wanted to share something new and exciting with my best friend, like, oh I don’t know, something all friends do?”</p>
<p>“Well, I’d appreciate it if you would start sharing less,” Beomgyu says, words as icy as his gaze, and he sees Soobin’s eyes widen slightly before hardening again. </p>
<p>Fights in itself are not new to Beomgyu and Soobin— they bicker all the time, and even their most serious arguments ended up being resolved in mere hours. However, this felt different. </p>
<p>Beomgyu was never one to oppose change concerning other things, but he finds that this, along with the past occurrences, might just be a first. </p>
<p>“You’re seriously being an asshole right now.”</p>
<p>“<em>I’m </em>being an asshole? What about you? Nowadays you’re always coming up with some stupid excuse about how you can’t hang out, with your <em> homework </em> and <em> studying</em>.” </p>
<p>Soobin falters a little. “That’s—”</p>
<p>“—absolutely correct. It’s bullshit and you’re perfectly fucking aware. Because it's not <em>homework</em>, and it’s not <em>studying</em>. It's hanging out with Yeonjun all the damn time to the point where you’ve just started brushing me off in the process! It’s like I’ve become the second damn choice! Would you have even invited me here if Yeonjun had decided he was feeling up to socializing tonight?”</p>
<p>Soobin stays quiet.</p>
<p>“And even every time we do talk, it’s Yeonjun this, Yeonjun that! I’m tired of it! I just… <em> I just</em>…” </p>
<p>
  <em> I just have this really huge crush on you and care for you a lot, and it hurts like hell to see that you slipping away from me since you so obviously like someone else that isn’t me. I’m so frustrated and upset that you won’t ever return my feelings, and I just don’t know what to do with that right now.  </em>
</p>
<p>“I just… really want my friend back.” Beomgyu finally says, voice quiet, body defeated as he looks down at his feet, unable to bring his eyes anywhere else. Soobin is standing still in front of him; he seemingly has run out of words to say. Of course. What could you say to that? What words could magically make him feel better and forget any of this just happened?</p>
<p>“I’m gonna go,” Beomgyu says shakily, sidestepping the older boy to move past him when Soobin grabs his wrist. Beomgyu could only blankly stare at where they connected, still not wanting to (unable to) look Soobin in the eye. </p>
<p>“Beomgyu,” Soobin breathes, “You’re… you’re completely right. I’m really sorry. I’ve… I’m not being a good friend.”</p>
<p>Beomgyu doesn’t say anything— not quite sure if he even can, with the way his throat feels closed up and hoarse. Instead, he simply nods, still not looking Soobin in the eye.</p>
<p>Soobin belatedly realizes that he’s still holding onto Beomgyu, and let’s go, apologizing again. Beomgyu just nods stupidly again, before gathering his stuff silently and shoving his feet into his sneakers at the front door where he left them. </p>
<p>Beomgyu opens the door but pauses for a moment. He’s pretty sure Soobin is standing a little ways behind him, and Beomgyu considers saying something and starts to turn around—</p>
<p>But then, he thinks better of it. There’s nothing more for him to say right now anyway; what’s the point? </p>
<p>He turns away, walking through the doorway, quietly closing the door behind him. </p>
<p>(What he misses is the guilty, regretful expression written all over Soobin’s face.)</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>—♡♡</b>♥︎<b>—</b></p>
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